There’s something they don’t tell you at Tufts University.

The most prestigious institute of higher learning in Medford, Massachusetts (or Somerville, depending on who you ask) admittance to Tufts comes with your acceptance of a coupla things: owing the entire DVD box set of the Richard Ruccolo vehicle, Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, and listening in hushed reverence whenever Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car” is played.

Short of reviving Espresso Pizza, the most Tufts Jumbo (named for P.T. Barnum’s elephant—look it up) thing you could do is buy Chapman’s fast car. Tufts is deep enough into Greater Boston that the region’s bad driving isn’t necessarily fast driving, but it’s still close enough to an implausibly Autobahn-esque stretch of I-93 that suits whatever fast car she was talking about.

And given that Tufts is 20 minutes from Kelly’s on Revere Beach, we’re thinking it’s a 5.0 Fox body Mustang. Pop-up headlight Honda Accord, maybe, although that feels a little Melrose-into-Winchester.

Which brings us to this McSweeney’s piece. Tracy Chapman is selling her fast car. And it’s the ultimate bragging right for a Tufts alum.

But is it worth it? Pro: "this car is your ticket to anywhere." Con: "the struts on the fast car gave out quicker than [the owner’s] ex would leave for 25¢ wing night with their friends." So a little of this, a little of that.

Only way to find out for sure: read the piece.

For Sale: Fast Car [via McSweeney’s Internet Tendency]